Im at strip club and am horny
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
