ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
