You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
