i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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