did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
