he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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