The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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