You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
