Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
