i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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