We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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