My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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