it hurts more in the daytime
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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