I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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