It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
