My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
