Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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