Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
