you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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