You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
