My balls are so social today.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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