Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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