So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
