we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
nutella sex= disaster
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
