dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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