not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
