Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
