someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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