I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Sober January is a disaster.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I forget how to act sober
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