I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
