My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
