I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
