I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
