Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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