And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize