if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
