In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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