we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
