i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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