Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i dont even know how to be here
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
