another moral hangover. fuck.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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