She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
