Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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