If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
