She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
