Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
