you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
