I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
40s are totally the cure
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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