on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
