At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
