bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
