I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
