I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
