Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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