im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
