She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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