Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
