I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
love makes seman taste better
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
