we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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