Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
