were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
