Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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