i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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